Yeeeep the bitch is back
Yeeeep the bitch is back [entries|friends|calendar]

There are no second chances
+ Cat Bones
+ No Future
+ No Past
+ Do you remember?
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[11 Oct 2010|11:13am]
Wake up at 8:30, shower, coffee, work out, read some news articles, errands, go to school, half an hour of badminton in the evening, perhaps go out and socialize, work out, bed around 11, read, sleep.

Feels good.
Just need to replace the "perhaps go out and socialize" part with "definitely part-time job" and I might actually be getting somewhere.
without you im nothing

just felt like writing [01 Sep 2010|10:50pm]
[ mood | . ]

The Real Comparison Between Cats and Dogs

Cat lovers and dog lovers are always going back and forth, vehemently firing off reasons why their beast is a supreme being and ultimate pet in every way.
But let's get past all the dumb doe eyes and tail chasing and get down to personality: whichever position you side with, cat or dog - just think of them as you would a potential or current girlfriend.


Sexy and slinky, independent, and frequently bitchy. Moody and sometimes schizophrenic, they're hard to please and hard to get to please you.
Come sit on my lap, because I demand it!
Yeah, maybe later, if I feel like it.

But even though you aren't constantly attached at the hip, the attention or affection you receive is much more meaningful.
Like the mysterious woman sitting at the end of the bar, hard to get, but will make it worth your while - perhaps - if you get her.


Happy, filled with mindless energy, and incapable of dealing with self unless with others. Always glad to be around, to be doing something, or just to be licking your body even! Needs constant attention, and if this attention is not received will act out in destructive habits. Kind of has bad hygiene. But is super sweet and doesn't really care about much except you.
Hey! Hi! I missed you! Where are you going! Are we going somewhere? No! Where are you going? DONT LEAVE THE ROOM!!! WHY ARE YOU GONE? IM GOING TO KILL MYSELF!!!!

You pick. In terms of girlfriends, of course.

1 kiss | without you im nothing

[22 Aug 2010|12:46am]
[ mood | really whiny ]

O: Well, I guess I'm gonna go...I really miss you. A lot.
O Sr.: Hm, yes, well... I don't miss you...but I do love you!

And this is after my father tells me to play even nicer than I already have been, playing penpal with mid-life crisis Barbie even though my self-defense instincts tell me that I need to reject her completely before I have a psychotic breakdown.

I guess when he said "play nice" he meant "throw yourself under the bus again, maybe something good will come out of it this time".

But at least these days I can openly abuse liquor and drugs and he doesn't really have the right to reprimand me for it.

without you im nothing

[19 Jul 2010|01:31am]
Despite the lousy turns my life has been taking lately, making and obsessively plating neat little sets of hors d'oeuvres for a midnight snack still makes me feel pleased with myself.

Somehow, berating my boyfriend to get a job turned into us taking a break for a few months, into passive-aggressively threatening to break up with each other. Which, naturally, turned into late-night texts and invitations to drive over to each others' houses.

Which is another thing that has been irritating me more than usual lately. When I first lost my license, I was in a state of shock and anger and longing to be behind the wheel of my trusty and rusty green Volvo. After a while, I accepted that my love for driving should be locked up and forgotten in the dusty attic that is my skull. But now that I am once again reinstated as a motorist, my freedom comes with several inconvenient and lifestyle-crippling limitations.

I'm almost done with program - which I will sorely, sorely miss as it was surprisingly very entertaining and usually consisted of watching A&E's Intervention series, or discussing sports and exchanging drinking stories in group therapy rather than our feelings about our dependance on alcohol and lack of "being under the influence of Jesus Christ".
But until I'm done, I'm on Restriction. Which means that things like driving to the grocery store, school, or even to the emergency room because your appendix has just exploded and is currently pumping toxic fluids into your abdomen - are all very, very illegal. I'm allowed to go to work, which means nothing to me, an unemployed student.

Another annoying (but well-deserved) result of getting arrested for blowing a .18 in the State of California is for the next ten years (or for the three that are duration of my probation, I don't honestly know, every counselor and website and laywer has their own interpretation of the law and I don't know who to believe), my legal BAC can be nothing more than a 0.000.
Which isn't me saying "Man, I miss driving drunk!" it's me saying "Wow, I can't drive my car for about 8-15 hours after I have a single drink."
Which complicates the idea of parties, going out with friends, or having a hangover the next day and needing to drive somewhere.

Not to mention that as a side-effect of not drinking to counterbalance my anxiety and paranoia, I've become increasingly more frantic and antisocial. Communication has become difficult as everything I say is said in 3X Fast Forward and in a low tone of voice, and I have to mentally prepare for anything I need to say to make sure it is not inane or dumb. But naturally, the structure and excellent vocabulary use is lost in the quick and quiet gurble that comes spilling out of my mouth, and I get panicked upon hearing myself butcher a completely normal sentence. The rest just comes out backwards and confused.

But I guess it's probably for the best. Maybe my dad will see how badly in need I am of a psychiatrist now that I can't possibly mask my insane behavior.
Plus I can drive my car. To my imaginary job.
without you im nothing

[15 Jun 2010|12:42pm]
[ mood | excited ]

Travel Channel.
Exotic Foods.
Location: Ethiopia.

So this fat white dude in a panamochka is standing in the street, with his freshly prepared plate of ethiopian food to try: some raw ground meat and pig intestine crackers, or something of the sort.
He tries it, laughs, tries to eat it, and shrugs his shoulders in defeat. His jowls jiggle jovially, and the camera pans right to the 40-odd small ethiopian children crowded behind him, eyes the size of dinner plates, rubbing their hands enviously.

"Heh, heh, ho! You guys want some of this?"

It is like a George Romero zombie rush, hands reaching, spittle flying, twitching eye sockets.
Soon the plate is lost in the middle of a shuddering huddle of bodies.

They shoulda ate the fat man.

In related news, I'm going to Le Cordon Bleu tomorrow to talk to a representative :]
I'm going for it!
without you im nothing

[15 Jun 2010|01:24am]
[ mood | bouncy ]

Man, doncha hate it when you're watching some crazy, plot-twist filled thriller, and at the very end it's like "Oh, yeah, the main character was just schizophrenic, none of that actually happened".
Way to cop out on an actual ending!
Other than that Shutter Island was kind of cool. Ward C so, so much like the Silent Hill games.

Today was my first real drive by myself since they yanked my license and I had to get it reestablished.
It probably would have been more fun if I had my glasses and know. See the road. Through my already less-than-transparent filthy windshield (must not let boyfriend borrow car, ever!) But my tape deck made sweet love with my ipod, and I happily sang along when I am the Highway came on - leaning forward with my nose touching the steering wheel like an old lady, trying to keep track of those elusive white squiggles on the pavement.

I've been itching to move. (Well actually I've been itching a lot in general, thanks to my cats spewing fleas from every hair on their hide.)
As much as I dearly love this house, and have so many memories that I'm kind of not ready to let go of yet, I'm so excited for this "new life" in mid-city.
New atmosphere, people, maybe even friends. Definitely an interesting job. And the huge kitchen for me the cooking fanatic, and the awesome bedroom with its own private entrance, ya know, are also enticing.
Mmm...private entrance...
(This would be the point at which my boyfriend, were he present, would make all sorts of foul comments and charming smiles)

Boyfriend also started working today. I was extremely proud (and extremely turned on) when he strolled through my front door today (Again, more lewd humor. I think I am the one with the gutter-mind), wearing all-black business attire after a long day at the office. two weaknesses. is slowly but surely stealing my soul away. And giving me cataracts.

without you im nothing

[25 May 2010|05:54pm]
Aha. Ha.
Bad to worse.
I mostly blame today's bad mood on being rejected by everyone around me. Whether it's the girl I used to be best friends with that won't give me the time of day now, because she's always "so busy" organizing her sock drawer and lint collection or whatever, or my boyfriend being suspiciously overjoyed that I'm not there anymore, or my dad saying "Yeah we should just get you a studio. It would be easier on everyone that way." (Am I really complaining about this? Haha. I'm just the worst, aren't I?)
Or, you know, my mother.

Seriously cannot think of a single human being who is not constantly giving me the "oh god, get it away!" actions.
Okay, lying. Boyfriend is still super sweet. But I still feel like an irritating burden. Me, with my emotions and lack of driver's license.

That, too. Hi, DMV, can you stop being such a douche? Instead of giving me 1/5 of the information I need to complete retrieving my license, can you just give me the whole fucking burrito?
*After hour long wait in line, whilst missing precious, precious studio time* "O HAI, you got the paper we asked for last time? That's awesome but you also need to get this paper from here and here. Come back tomorrow! (Except we're not open tomorrow, come back Monday! But don't count on me actually telling you this vital piece of information. :] :]! )

And guess what happens next time I come there?
Seriously by the time I actually get my license back I'll probably have been off probation for two years.

And why, oh why sweet Lord, Kami, and Vishnu up there in the heavens, does it feel like I'm not getting into Glass next year? My professor nearly hit me with a broom when I asked her about getting on the wait list.
It's not MY fault my boyfriend owes you $300, dude.

Okay, fuck this. Time to eat foul korean sushi now.
5 kisses | without you im nothing

[22 May 2010|01:59am]
The last week has been really weird. This whole month has been super weird, but this week definitely...took the cake, I guess.

There's really no need for me to censor myself anymore, since my mother has decided to let her lady-friends in on all of it anyway. I know how fast word spreads in my parents' social circle.

I spend most of my day at the airport today, discovering how deliciously salty Dirty Stoli martinis are, marveling at how I keep seeing the same people working the Aeroflot sector that were there ten years ago, and laughing at TSA Security patrolling on...well, segways. You know what kind of horn the segway has? Tropical bird sounds. And I thought they couldn't possibly be any more embarassing.

I kind of feel like a bitch, because when I moved back in with my dad I thought, "It'd be nice if she just never came back". Because it's easier with my dad, he has a lot less hangups and because I respect him and because he doesn't get wasted and say all kinds of horrible things to me.

But now that I left her at the departure gate, knowing that she won't be here again, and that our family is totally torn into shreds, I regret that fleeting, stupid thought I had. I'd take it back in a heartbeat.

I'm mostly miserable because my dad is know. Broken now. I feel so bad for him. I guess I'm also sad because I keep thinking of the last 22 something years of my life, our family, our memories, all the things we had, the places we went, the things we all did together. Now it's just...weird. I feel abandoned as well. But my mom and I never had that kind of relationship where I would feel like I'm losing my mother. Maybe just feeling rejected as a friend, but considering the last few years of my life, being rejected and forgotten by close friends is pretty much second nature to me now. I get why she's doing it. It still feels like shit though.

I guess I just kind of wish I could relive all those years when we were still living on Kelton and I was a kid and we were a real family.
When I would wake up on a birthday eve in the middle of the night because they'd be sneaking a present into my room for me to find by my bed in the morning. Or when we used to go to the movies or dinner. Or go for walks around our neighborhood and steal everyone's oranges and roses. stuff.
I know we haven't done any of that in years and years, but I suddenly miss it more than ever.

I'm just lucky I still have my Antosha and my dad by my side, and I know we'll get through this.
We're moving out of this house we've been living in for the last ten years anyway, so washing away the memories will be easier than ever...

I hope we'll all still...kind of be a family.
1 kiss | without you im nothing

[17 May 2010|12:47am]
[ mood | life is a highway ]

Lately has been really good.
Living with dad has been bliss. I've been busy busy busy with work, school has been so fun and addictive that I have seizures on Sunday night in anticipation (As we speak). Making marbles is my favorite new way to play. Anton's favorite new joke is "But I thought you LOST all your marbles!".
I lost like five pounds - no more feasting on Carl's Jr dollar menu. Although I kind of splurged today and made dumplings (from scratch!). I've also been enjoying the colored pencils and Russian detective stories.
It's so weird how a change of scenery completely changes what you do with your day.

We're so glad to be living apart. He gets to have a taste of what it's like to live on your own, and I get to live in Santa Monica and not have to flip out about everyone's messes and remembering the alternating names of the sluts Old-Roommate brings over so as to not reveal his rotating schedule. It feels cute to date again, date-date. We had the most awesome Year.5 anniversary on friday. This boy makes me so deliriously happy.

I'm getting my license back tomorrow :]
This is by far my most exciting news. I can't believe I'll be driving again. Watch out, Los Angeles! And/or surrounding counties!
Now all I need to do is find a better/more local job, and enroll in some summer classes.
And get a freakin' tan...because seriously corpse-legs? You need to go away. Permanently.

Life is fuckin' sweet <3

1 kiss | without you im nothing

[03 May 2010|12:51pm]
[ mood | loves it ]

It finally feels like my life is turning around...
I spent the weekend with my dad, (a much needed vacation from the pigsty I've been living in), and he definitely made me see a purpose and beauty in life again.
Since I've been here, I've been waking up early, eating healthy, working, reading, drawing (!), just generally being the person I used to be. I even saw a movie by myself, even though it was so retarded that I ended up walking out and taking a walk around UCLA instead.
I feel...motivated.
And uh, I guess a brand new macbook pro don't exactly put a damper on things shiny :]

This is funny considering what the post before last was about.

1 kiss | without you im nothing

[24 Apr 2010|07:27pm]
[ mood | speechless ]

This is honestly the worst thing that could have happened.
I'm completely at a loss for words.

The vodka in my stomach is burning.

without you im nothing

If you're fuck-poor [24 Mar 2010|05:02pm]
[ mood | mischievous ]

So a long while ago, I came up with this pretty awesome idea for something I affectionately call "dorm room pad thai".
You know if you're going to school, or are just generally broke, your diet mainly consists of Top Ramen (if you're not treating yourself to Taco Bell or Mickey D's).

And though those cup-o'-noodle meals are tasty and filling, after a few days of eating them, they get old and boring.
What did I do? I fried them - and they made for some pretty sweet asian-style noodles. Considering that these little cups cost 50 cents - 1 dollar each, it'll save you money on the chinese takeout.
And it's yummy :]

You will need a stove and a more-or-less deep frying pan. Or a pot, that works too.
And personally, I find I prefer those Mexican-ass weird noodle cups, such as "Souper Meal", because the noodles are better suited for this. But normal Top Ramen works just as fine :]

The downside is you'll use 2 packages instead of one, because you're cutting out the watery broth part of the meal, and you'll still be hungry from just one. But it's still relatively cheap to use double.

Open the cups, fill the containers about 1/3 of the way up, and swish them around for a second. Turn them upside down over your pot and squish and mash the outside with your hands until the contents fall out. Let the water boil, and make sure the noodles A) Have enough water to get soft (add a little more if you need to), and B) Don't have too much water! Pour any excess out.
Once they're soft and there's almost no water left, pour in a little oil (sesame oil is the shit with this), and throw in whatever you want. Leftover veggies. Chili peppers. Hot sauce. It's all good.
Let them cook for about a minute, and you should be good!

Be sure to soak your pan/pot when you're done though 'cos some of those noodles will stick to that mother like there's no tomorrow.

Watch out, Rachael Ray.

3 kisses | without you im nothing

[25 Feb 2010|05:35pm]
[ mood | tryin' to ignore it ]

Kind of sort of upset that boyfriend is leaving for Vegas with roommate tonight. I guess he just wants to go and have fun on his own, and I should respect that...

I guess I'm just going to be really lonely here at the house for the next few days, it's not like I have anyone to come over and keep me company. I suppose there's lots of glasswork (and housework) I could do to pass the time, but still. He'll be having the time of his life, and I'll be here with barely any food, watching Maury Povitch by myself like a total recluse-tard.

Maybe he'll leave me with a little bit of money so I can go hang out at the bar with other human beings a couple of times.

Wish I could just catch the bus up to Humboldt tonight instead of next week, but someone's got to keep an eye on the dog and school is on Monday.


without you im nothing

I keep skipping this [17 Feb 2010|02:22am]
[ mood | So happy ]

I've been wanting to write about "daily life", and every time I go here I think OH YEAH!
Then I remember that the highlight of my day is getting a 20-pack instead of a six, and I realize I could not really entertain anyone much.

The last few days have been really fun.
VD Day was awesome. I failed to mention the balloon in my last post. He got me one of those foil balloons, along with some nice flowers. But dude, the balloon. When you poke it, it sings a song.
I was in hysterics all day over it.

The next day, he got all shirtless and changed the oil in my car (Which is nice because my poor Volvo was three seconds away from exploding, no joke), and I planted some flowers along the house while he worked. It was a nice sunshiny day and we almost got ice cream except the truck must have realized it was President's Day and ran away. Bastard.

And today was the BEST of all of that. Fucking glassblowing begins again! Well it's not quite blowing, it's lampwork, but fuck there are so many more techniques and it's not 103 degrees and it's comfy, and well, just a much more slow and more meditative way to work with the media of hot, goopy molten glass.
Blowing is so intense, it's exciting, it's hot, it's nuts. It's heavy, it's a lot of running, preparation, precision, perfection, mistakes and very bad burns. You run back and forth across the room with 15 pounds of glass on a 5 foot long metal pole that is around 800 degrees right where your hand is near, and you're sweating and pulling on all this weight with metal tools that are itching to burn you.

With torch work, you're just chilling on a little chair, and the studio is silent and a nice temperature, and your entire world is in your hands, the small workspace in front of you - your tools, your colors, and the bright burning flame are within an arms's reach.
It is slightly irritating how small the scale is, but the attention to detail that you can achieve is incredible. Painting a decal on the side of a large piece means TIME THAT SHIT OR ELSE IT WILL EXPLODE IN YOUR FACE. But with this, timing is suddenly not such a huge issue. Nothing is. Just you, the details, the colors, and your thoughts.

I love this. If I had a torch, I would never motherfucking leave the house again.
Ah...if only I had money.

Also tomorrow I'm getting a kiln setup so that should be fun. Stage one of studio setup is complete!

PS - J and S, it was so good, so good... to see you again.

without you im nothing

[04 Jan 2010|12:51am]
[ mood | happy! ]


Ok, now that I am done being excited over getting my journal back and perusing my long-forgotten friends list, I can say something substantial here.
Well, nothing really, not about my life anyway. But I can tell you this:
Some dousche-hacker will come along and fuck up your shit and no more precious livejournal for you.
Facebook just does not fill the void the same way ;]

Uh, in terms of life, I guess I've been surviving, as usual.
Livin' in Reseda is livin' in Reseda.
At least I got my two grand in insurance money, so I can finally have something to eat on a daily basis. That's a nice feeling.

Ah...this is not a good time to write.

4 kisses | without you im nothing

RESEDA BINGO [21 Nov 2009|02:10am]
[ mood | disappointed,but not surprised ]

You know you live in Reseda when:

You have motorcycles and trick bikes parked in both front and back, and a bashed up Volvo + F150 out front at all times.

When you have to wear clothes + sweatshirt + winter coat. Indoors.

When your gas cuts out and you cook your food on a mini propane cooker in your yard.

When you dry your clothes on a line, because your dryer is from the 1940's, and no longer dries.

Your neighbor has way too many cats. Your neighbor is nearly 100.

Your roommate does donuts on the lawn on his Honda minibike, when the mood strikes.

When your garage is full of old display cases, cowboy boots, and other western paraphenelia. When I say full, I mean there is only space enough for the washer and dryer. 5 sq. ft.?

When you think drinking Budweiser is living rich. (What's up, Natty Light/ Keystone?)

Your only (ONLY) entertainment is cards, drinking, and pool.

There is also a Denny's, but that does not count.

Only 10% of your neighbors are caucasian.

Chiclets, spicy mexican candy, and ice cream are only three steps away from the residence.

The view from one of your bedroom windows is only, and entirely, your neighbor's trailer.

Your lawn looks like a nuclear testing facility.

Everyone is always drunk, drinking, or hungover.

There are guns hidden in the house.

Your porch has a laz-e-boy armchair on it.

You could probably get about $20 in recycling back each day, considering the amount of beer cans/bottles thrown away.

You or one of your roommates is a packrat and saves a bunch of stupid shit that does not need to be in your house, but is there anyway - such as random parking signs, boat motors, couches, pianos, or anything else that might be found in an alley and is not covered in mold or diseases.

Welcome to my life. Not my choosing, but hey, what else can I afford?
All we need is the confederate flag, pit bull, and even cheaper beer.

2 kisses | without you im nothing

[06 Nov 2009|05:09pm]
For the first time in forever, I actually have an internet connection (That I can be on for more than ten minutes). Sick.

I am smellin' like a rose as I write to my endless sea of adoring fans, from my new home in Reseda, CA.
I know your initial reaction to the very mention of the city might be nausea or perhaps full-blown loosening of the bowels (perhaps simultaneously), but hear me out on this one. Control your projectile vomiting for at least five seconds, yeah?

It's really not so bad. Last month, my boyfriend and my roommate decided that we needed to move. I, to my credit, was not part of the house-selecting process, so, yeah the boys got a house out in Reseda. My first reaction to this was rage, shortly followed by fear. But now...well, I guess I don't mind living in buttfuck nowhere, as long as I live in a beautiful, well-painted, CLEAN, three-bedroom house with a 2,000 sq. ft. yard. I miss having more than a 7-11 and a hunting store in my vicinity, but I guess it's not too hellish of a drive to see people I know or to get away from the guy who sells Chiclets and ice cream in front of my house.

And the Lord said, thou shalt not complain too much.

But for fuck's sake, people, if you're in the area, please come visit me. I've been clawing my eyes out from boredom. We finally got internet today AS YOU CAN PROBABLY FUCKING TELL, so this will ease the lonely nights a bit - but usually, our lone entertainment is to get drunk and play cards in the evening. We have a porch. We have a shotgun. I feel like a fucking hillbilly.

Come and bring me news of the outside world.

Um, besides that, not too much to report. Glassblowing is going swimmingly, and Anton is doing very well at is as well. We are good partners. For a first year student, he's surprisingly well-adapted to this world of scorching heat, frustration, and frequent burns from touching glass and metal that quite literally a few hundred degrees short of the fucking sun's surface. I'm doing much better this year, too. There's new management over the glass department, and the new instructor is much more thorough than our dearly departed and retired Don Hartman. I've been learning and trying a lot more than last year. She is shrill, though, I must say. Very. Very shrill. Wake the dead with but a whisper, does she.

I felt like I had so much more to write when I sat down...
But I suppose I can get back to it tomorrow if I remember.

Going to go drink beer and play cards with my lover and our buddy now.

...sometimes I wish I could stop living in the past.
2 kisses | without you im nothing

'Bout time I said some things [24 Sep 2009|11:23am]
It's been a while since I had a computer to myself, or the time to regale the world (2 and a half people) of my glorious and fascinating life.

Summer kind of flew by, had some fun taking Philosophy with one of my favorite professors at Santa Monica, went surfing a couple times, and moved into a room near Centinela/Santa Monica blvd.

That in itself deserves a lot of detailed description. Of course, I mean the house.
When one or the other of you decides to come visit me (if you haven't been wasted here previously), let me walk you through it.
You'll know which house is ours right away. It's the one with six motorcycles parked in front of it, and a vague smell of marijuana coming from the neighbors' porch.
As you come up the walkway, you will notice the grass starts dying and wasting away the closer you get to our porch. You will have to navigate around ridiculous mismatched lawn furniture, piles of beer cans, and a stockpile of useless shit and a barbeque on the porch to get inside the front door. That's when the fun really starts!

(Now don't get me wrong, I love the place. It's just filthy as hell. Anton and I clean constantly of course, but our other roommate's idea of cozy is not unlike a pig's idea of a good time with a puddle of mud.)

Once you're in the door, you will be greeted with two (I have to admit insanely comfortable) opposing couches, a shit-ton of surfboards and bikes, and more beer cans. You will be given a nice cold alcoholic drink of your choice (and we encourage donations upon visits), and then you can meet my roommates - The escourt, the bartender/male escourt, and the Hawaiian drug dealer, but he is a rare sight to see as he seldom leaves his habitat.
And of course, there's me and Anton - the insane Russian couple that constantly bickers and smacks one another playfully. All together, we make for a wonderfully entertaining and dysfunctional household. But we get on quite well. We play card drinking games, steal each other's food and beer (OK this is actually mostly me), and enjoy relaxing evenings on our neighbor's porch listening to old rock and bullshitting about our day. There are occasional fistfights between our neighbor and the drug dealer, but that's mildly entertaining as well.

But hey, at $300 a month in Santa Monica? Worth it.

Besides my home life, I'm having a fantastic fall semester. I have six hours of studio time in the glassblowing shop because Anton's taking it with me (we get three hours each), and six hours a week of demos and workshops with the rest of the class. There's a few familiar faces from last semester, and I guess since I'm an "advanced" student now (second semester), I'm getting more priveledges and more responsibilities, like starting up the studio in the mornings (Yes indeed, your lazy friend actually wakes up at six am these days), assisting, and participating in sales and events. Anton and I work seamlessly as a team in the studio, making things I never could have made on my own. And surprisingly for someone who has never really taken a crack at anything artistic, a business major and a pc nazi, he's actually doing extremely well, and enjoys it as much as I do. I can't wait to go to class today an pick up the black and red greek vase I made yesterday morning. I know it's going to be crooked as hell, but it's still exciting to have made something so much more advanced than last year.

Currently taking requests if you'd like me to make something just for you ;]

As for me and Anton, well, it's getting on to be almost a year now that we've been together. We're happy, and we're both thinking and planning for the future, trying to be responsible, trying our best to make the other happy. I love and respect the man for all that he's done to keep this relationship burning as fiercely as it started out last November. I know a lot of my friends and acquaintances think he's a total jackass and dislike him, and tend to distance themselves from me and him alike, but I found that the people that I really like, my real friends, they don't seem to do that. It's the people I want to be around but then halfway through the day I realize annoy the living hell out of me, they're the ones that he drives away. He has a problem keeping his opinions to himself, and if someone is being a complete twat, he's not going to sit there and make nice while secretly thinking over and over "God, you are so fucking dense". That's what I do. But he says it right out loud, which of course is impolite especially at a dinner party or something like that, and feelings get hurt and you stop getting invited to social outings, but then I find it really doesn't matter so much. Because I like Anton for that reason. He's as honest as a person can be, and he doesn't put up with anyone's stupid bullshit. I like him, because he's not afraid to be himself.

So yeah...there's tons more I could natter on about as my head is quite full of things at the moment, but this entry's getting to be really long, so I'll just leave it at: I like my house, I love going to school, and I love my boyfriend. I love life in general. Things are going swimmingly.

And if my description of the apartment scared you...don't fret! Come by, it's really not so bad I just like to complain. You all know that well.

Ci vediamo.
22 kisses | without you im nothing

[21 Aug 2009|12:13am]
[ mood | accomplished ]

Damn I have so much catching up to do on livejournal. Probably not on facebook, it is hardly ever exciting.
I miss not having a computer. But don't worry, I'll soon be drunkcommenting on your posts before you can say "asdf".

Also, come visit me at my new house in Santa Monica, if you have the time :]

3 kisses | without you im nothing

Help, I'm Alive [04 Jul 2009|01:43pm]
[ mood | yeah, fuck you too ]

What the fuck is it with radio songs lately?
They always paraphrase my life.

"Help Im alive, my heart is beating like a hammmer, my pulse is a runaway train, help I'm alive? If I stumble they're gonna eat me alive?"

Yeah I mean I'm sure other people are chronic tachycardial/anxious-suicidal too, but still.

I guess I'm just bored.
Also I'm pretty sure I got fired today. Happy 4th of July! :)

6 kisses | without you im nothing

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